Nightmare of You

I had two nightmares this morning, and I have felt like shit all day because of them. Tim woke up at 10am, because he was going to go into the city. I then went back to sleep, and dreamed that he was going to go to a party and did not want me to go (we've been arguing over his excluding me from time to time lately, so it made me feel very badly that this is what started the nightmare off, and also made it that much more realistic and scary) so we fought, and I stole the car and drove off in it, so he couldnt drive, and I parked and hopped in the backseat to cry. Someone climbed in to the front seat, and started driving away, and i was freaking out because he was holding a knife at me. Eventually, he started cutting my legs and writing on them with the knife, and I was bleeding and screaming and trying to get away but there are no back doors so i was trapped, and eventually I bled to death. Then I woke up, and felt so fucking horrible, but I didn't think Tim was home, so I curled up in a ball and felt awful until I passed out again... Then the dreams started. I got mad at Tim for something entirely different, and I don't remember what it was. But I decided I was going to go for a walk afterward, to cool down because it was a very bad fight, with screaming. I was walking through the park where we always walk, and this person jumped out of the bushes and basically attacked me until I couldnt fight any more, and used a bike chain to attach me to a park bench, and then lit me on fire. I stayed asleep through the screaming and being burned alive, THEN as i was gasping my last breaths again I woke up. I again felt terrible, but knew Tim was not home, so I lay in bed shaking and upset being too afraid to get up until a while later, Tim came in and said he had been home the whole time. I was so scared, but he had errands to run and he was doing them out of the city, so he invited me along, and didn't try to comfort me at all, because we were in a hurry. Now he's gone out with his mum, and I feel awful, because we started to talk about it but then she came, and now I feel alone and frightened again. It was so scary that we HAVE been fighting about the same things in awake land, and then being upset with him cause me to be violently killed twice in one morning in dream land. I'm scared to be upset, I'm scared to even think of any bad thoughts even to make them go away. I'm just, in this horrible place mentally, and I just don't know how to get out!

I hate it when you dream something, and when you wake up, you can see fragments of where you were in the dream when you wake up, an you are not sure where you are exactly, and whether or not you are still alive...